Some Favorite Weekend Pics

Slowing Down

I am a future oriented person. Always have been and probably always will be. I look forward to certain things and often find myself day-dreaming about the endless possibilities that the future holds. But with this imaginative outlook I find that I try to rush my life to pass certain milestones. You know the attitude that "I'll just be happy to finish this semester of school, I'll be happy when I finish college, I'll be happy when..." I think we all get this way sometimes, but I find myself thinking this way a lot. I forget to enjoy everything that happens along the way.I believe that Thomas S. Monson said "Find joy in the journey--Now." I try to remind myself that it's ok to slow down, ok to live a little, ok to still be in college, ok to just relax and enjoy my relationships. I need to stop rushing my life along and enjoy all the little things that happen day after day.

Home

I have been mulling around different ideas of what to do for the Summer. First I thought I was going to get this great paid internship, instead got rejected. Then I thought I was going to stay here and find work, not looking so good unless I want to be a stripper. And now I got presented with an opportunity to go home for the summer and take up my old job as a nanny.

When I left the job several years ago certain circumstances presented themselves that in a way forced me out of the job. I wasn't ready to leave and now I feel like I have a chance to make up for that. I feel so blessed to get a re-do. I love the family that I was a nanny for and I feel like we've only gotten closer over the years. I'm also excited to be able to get away from Missouri and the awful humid weather.

I find it fascinating that my whole life I couldn't wait to get out of the town I grew up in. I even started this blog to share my exciting adventures to new places. But now, the journey I am most looking forward to, is my journey home.

To My Mother

I realize that Mother's Day was yesterday, but I figured I would go ahead with this tribute anyways. This is about as candid as I will ever be online so enjoy. Yesterday turned out to be a surprising wonderful day for me. I have a very hard time with Mother's Day, but Kevin made it enjoyable and helped me to realize just how much my mother means to me. He decided to tell me a story of when he first met my parents which occurred years before we even started dating back in December 2007. A little background: because we were not dating at the time he met my parents, neither myself, Kevin, nor my parents seemed to pay much attention to it and therefore could not recall any details from the encounter. I had also met his parents the same time, but because of certain situations, I blocked several months of time out of my mind. A few weeks ago, Kevin and I went home so that he could meet my parents in the official "boyfriend" capacity. But back to the story. Yesterday Kevin confessed that he did actually remember some details of that first meeting. I was shocked that he was just now telling me this and I had a desire to know because honestly I cannot remember a thing. For those of you who know my past, 2007 was a very difficult year for me and I was trying to cope with a lot of emotions, but was unsuccessful. You could even go as far as to say that I was mad at the world and everyone in it. We were at my grandparents house for Christmas and Kevin stopped by(he was visiting his parents for Christmas who live close by) to see if Kyle and I wanted to go hang out with him. Kyle was completely on board, but I was much more hesitant because I did not want to go and have fun, I was content with being miserable. Kevin said, "come on Katy, let's go cruise the 'vard." Apparently this made me chuckle a little because let's be real, we are not in the 80's, no one "cruises the 'vard" anymore lol. I decided to go and as we were walking out the door, my mom pulled Kevin aside and thanked him. Kevin replied, "what for?" My mom simply said, "for making her smile."

When Kevin told me this, I just started crying. Why? Because my mom is predictable. Predictable in the sense that her love for her children comes before anything else. I could be the worst, the grumpiest, the meanest person towards my mother and she would still always wish for my happiness and love me nonetheless. My mom has been there for me through the worst of times and the best of times. She is unfaltering in her love for me and I am truly blessed to have her. When she smiles, she lights up an entire room. Her example to me is unparalleled. I hope that I can have mean and terrible children so that I can exhibit the unwavering kindness that she has shown me lol. I really don't want kids like me, that was a joke. What I am trying to say is thank you for never giving up on me, thank you for showing me what unconditional love is, thank you for being my constant support, thank you for everything.

Mom, I love you.

Strange Dreams

I have been having very weird dreams lately and I just can't seem to shake them. In class today I couldn't even focus on the lecture the teacher was giving. All I could think about was this dream and images that kept running through my head. I don't know why it's bothering me so much lately. I've had similar dreams before, but this one just really impacted me.

There is this little girl in the dream, maybe 4 years old and she looks just like me. She is someone else's child, but for some reason she is being neglected in the sense that she is being left alone, abandoned and not wanted. When her parents come for a visit, I realize that her parents have left her alone again so I run off after yelling at them and go looking for her. I am walking through a large empty house and I start calling her name. She answers me. I find her in the bathroom and she is cutting her hair. I stop her from what she is doing and tell her that she can't play with scissors. She says she is sorry, wraps her arms around my neck and I carry her away.

After that I woke up. It was a little more complex then that, but that's the gist of it. It's not really that strange of a dream, but today when I awoke it really startled me. I don't know what's going on in my head, but apparently my dreams are trying to work out some issues.